We all want healthy, loving relationships, but they don't always seem to come so easy even without the world issues. Relationships can be tricky. In fact, sometimes they don't happen at all. Here's why.
Success in relationships (including with yourself) need to have a plan in place. No one intentionally plans to fail. However, many don't realize that not having a plan- is a plan - to fail. I don't be charts and graphs, I mean you have to know what's important to you. You want to attract the right person and as importantly - be the right person - for others - as well as yourself. Writing out the most important things you value is a wonderful gift to yourself.
With a little careful planning, anyone can create enough time to do what they desire and enjoy. The problem is that often priorities get mangled by the hectic time stealing schedule life throws at us. This is where we have to grab the reigns, redirect and take the time to plan and create. Good relationships happen when we are more intentional. Intentionality takes simple time management planning, a focus on what brings us joy, and some steps of action so we are able to soak up the joys of life.
The most common way we can fail to take action is when it comes to ourselves. It's easy to let a busy schedule, or someone else's needs take center stage. There's nothing wrong with helping others. It's important to give and receive. There is something wrong however, when you continually help others at your own expense. This can happen when we don't take the time for our own needs and desire. When we stop taking responsibility for our own health and happiness it creates a chain reaction. You can't fill anyone else's cup up if yours is almost empty.
Have you ever heard the story about the oxygen mask? First, put on your own oxygen mask before you try to help someone else put their oxygen mask on. The reason is apparent. You can't save anyone else in a "situation" when you can't breathe yourself. Hectic schedules are "situations". First we all have to take care of our own need for "oxygen"and then we'll have the oxygen to be able to help another. Self care is about giving the world the best of you- not what's left of you.
But so many of us do the same thing. We run out of our own "oxygen" while trying to maintain someone else's. Some go-go-go until they collapse, or secretly resent the other person, or split altogether. Human beings can only take so much. We have to stop and gather our focus and redirect sometime. Sometimes it's our physical health that forces us to stop, or other times it's our mental health that takes a beating. If we stopped before we fizzled out it would benefit not only ourselves but all those whom we come into contact with on a daily basis.
Being run-down, tired, overworked, and stressed-out is no way to live! Wouldn't it be great to just focus and spend some time rejuvenating our relationships? You can't give people the best of you if there's nothing left to give. Keep reading below on how to have better relationships both with ourselves and with others.
The three most significant areas of life that get neglected the most are health, community, and relationships.
It's pretty hard to have a relationship with your friends or yourself if you don't first take care of your own needs, including the time to think about what's vitally important to you. Take the time to create a plan for your day, year, and life. Here are some steps to help redirect, bring more focus, and create more calm, while bringing moments of joy back into your life.
KICKSTART THE 2021 NEW YEAR SUCCESSFULLY!
When we take the time out to think about what we truly desire out of life, we begin to sharpen our focus and craft our own life goals and dreams. By putting some intentional meaningful time aside, you'll start moving towards your goals such as having better health, more meaningful friendships, and improved intimate relationships. All of which are the foundations of a more enjoyable life!
BETTER HEALTH SCHEDULE SELF CARE TIME LIKE AN APPOINTMENT
What kinds of things can you do for self care? Get quiet. Light mind-clearing candles such as sage or rosemary before writing your desired goals down. Calming candles not only freshen up your living space but Me and a Tree Rosemary Soy Candles are also soot free creating a safer eco friendly environment for your friends and family.
Rosemary & Clary Sage essential oil is particularly known to aid in creating a more calm and relaxed mental state. There are many health benefits to both essential oils of rosemary and sage such as, helping keep flu bugs at bay. A great dual benefit.
Another way to create a time to calmly think and be more intentional is to plan your needs by creating a kind of calming ritual for your mind and body. We all focus much better when we are in a relaxed and comfortable state of mind such as after a calming steam shower or bath.
Again you can create a ritual by incorporating rosemary or sage essential oil or soaps into a bath or shower (here's one we love right here bar of rosemary). The cascading sound of the water, the smell of the healing oils, and the relaxing warmth of the steam bath will ignite your inner self and senses. By allowing the steam to cleanse your nasal and respiratory system, you'll have clearer focus. Rosemary Soap and oil steam showers are pleasant and enjoyable because not only can you breathe in the menthol-like essential oil droplets, but you are also getting a very good antiseptic for your skin. So many great benefits in creating your self care time.
There's many medical studies on the power of rosemary oil remedies so why not have it in a convenient soap in your shower so you get the benefits daily? You can also add lavender to the mix which helps sooth and calm the mind and skin as well. Here's a beautiful French Lavendar bar and french lavender essential oil drops that you can safely enjoy in the calm of your own personal steam shower or bath space. Steam showers and calming baths are both a great way to begin or end a day. Think of it as the the remedy to get you into a calmer state of mind which helps your brain work better.
Vitality food plans that increase your focus, energy, and libido.
Creating balance starts on the inside. The things we do everyday are cumulative. Balancing your inner world is just as important as your schedule in your outer world. Vital nutritional foods don't have to taste like cardboard. Most people can create something tasty in a few minutes that helps bring more focus to the mind increasing the intention of our plan for health. There's plenty of living nutritious plant based recipes online that are beyond delicious. Click here for some of our own my husband and I enjoy creating.
Spark up your morning with my favorite fruit and veggie juice that brings vital nutrients quickly into your body for increased mental clarity, energy, focus and concentration.
4-6 chunks of fresh cut pineapple
1 large apple cored and chopped
2 large fresh celery sticks
1/2 medium cucumber unpeeled
hand amount of fresh spinach
2-3 medium carrots
Juice or blend and drink fresh.
CREATE CLOSER COMMUNITY- Outdoor nature, new journeys, new friends, and new experiences.
Schedule time to plan something that you truly enjoy. It may be within your own local community such as a meetup canoe group or maybe a trail walk. All these are great ways to connect with people in your community. For me being outdoors helps clear my mind. Natures beauty inspires me from the colorful flowers to the creamy orange sunsets- all inspire me to remember to be grateful and dream a bit more.
We are made for beautiful journeys both small or great! We aren't made to stay indoors all day long. I am a natural outdoor wanderer and it doesn't matter if I am in a city or in the woods- I'm going somewhere to see something beautiful and make new friends! To me it's more fun to go where I have never been so there's lots of new places to explore.
I enjoy meeting new people and chatting with strangers or friends alike. I enjoy connecting and studies have shown that people who live in community live up to eight years longer than those who are solitary. Why not enjoy a longer and more connected life? You can decide how much time to socialize. The important thing it to connect a little bit every day or at least once a week.
It doesn't matter where you are, there are creative ways to spend time enjoying meaningful moments. Go to a park, swim in a lake or the ocean, take a walk near trees, spend time with your animals, find a new coffee shop, help an elderly person, or find a charity and volunteer. Join a group of people who are doing something you have always dreamed of doing and learn from them.
Lockdowns or no lockdown- there's plenty of stuff to do if you just take a little time to get intentional about how you want to spend your 2021 year. Getting clear and focused will ensure that you are actively creating the life you want and will allow you to create the focus for a plan that inspires you to achieve your dreams and goals for 2021.
CREATING MORE INTENTION WITH OUR INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS
Maybe your relationship could use some fresh ideas? From time to time we can all get easily stuck in a rut. No matter if your relationship has seemed to lose its zeal or if you are simply bored with yourself and lack of ideas, you can always get creative and craft that playful or calming atmosphere for your relationship (and I am sure others will appreciate it!). Here's a few ideas.
calming inviting space even if it's just for an evening. Light a candle, decorate the windows with some hanging nature (dried leaves, interesting branches, art, or crystals). Make your bedroom inviting. I like plushy covers and lots of pillows. Scented candles always make me feel I’ve entered a sacred space. What's more calming than an inviting cozy bedroom with soft warm glowing low light from candles? You'll want to unwind and journal your new intentions for 2021!
Ditch the news. If you are on a steady diet of news, negativity, and seeing all the problems with the world, your cup is likely pretty empty. It's been a long 2020 and people are drained by hearing all about the woes of the world. It's time to change the channel.
Give yourself a news-free vacation. Your nerves (and relationships) will benefit. Instead of news for a day- be a breath of fresh air for an evening. Talk and think about your dreams and start planning ways to see them come true. Have a brain storm session with yourself! Have a brain storm session with your significant other or friends! Have fun! DREAM BIG!
Play calming nature sounds music with no words. Words are great in music, but sometimes in order to hear our own ideas and thoughts it's best not to hear someone else's thoughts. I like putting on nature music when I want to brain storm when spending self care time alone. I also enjoy it for a romantic evening of massage and enjoyment.
I hope you enjoy your evening of focused attention on your dreams. Make 2021 the best year ever no matter what is going on. With a little creativity and an intentional plan you will be surprised and delighted what dreams and goals await you! Do you have any good suggestions or inspiring ideas for goals in 2021? Share them below! Others will benefit from seeing what you are planning too! Happy 2021!